"The Grown-Up"

Known for its ability to handle rudimentary responsibilities such as taking accountability for its actions, paying debt, dressing appropriately for the occasion, respecting the humanity of others, and actually working for what it earns, this creature’s population has been in a steady decline since the Vietnam War. Evolutionists believe this sharp downturn is due to a variety of factors including unwarranted entitlement, delusions of grandeur, and an inability to consider all options before making a decision. This creature is currently threatened by several predators: Mass Media, Reality Television, Cellular Phones, and a mysterious social assassin known only as “Facebook.”

This creature, with its mystical ability to exhibit practicality with regard to life choices or to sit attentively through an entire motion picture that contains no special effects or CGI explosions, can be difficult to locate, usually avoiding the spotlight and opting not to make a complete ass of itself.